Ella – Mom, we go to a private school.

Me – Really?…

Ella – Yeah.  Mrs. Kane says ‘Keep your clothes on so no one can see your bottom.’  That means we go to a PRIVATE school.

“What’s milk made of?”  Ella asked me recently.

“Hhmm… Well, I’m pretty sure that milk is made of… milk.”

After saying that, I started thinking about how unusual it is to see single ingredient foods these days.  I guess that’s why the words organic, natural, and whole are appearing more and more frequently on our produce and labels.   In attempt to be healthy, we seek to avoid processed food, even though they are more convenient, more transportable, and have a longer shelf life. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no purist when it comes to eating.  At least not yet.  It was only recently that I learned what “trans fats” and “hydrogenated oils” are, and why I should avoid them.  Truth is, I still occasionally indulge in movie theatre popcorn.  And let’s just face it…  that “butter” is probably 110% trans hydrogenated saturated fat! 

But this concept fascinates me, because I realize that it parallels the frustration I feel toward processed versions of other things in life, like truth.  In fact, as I searched online for a good definition of this virtue, I realized that there is “no agreed upon definition” of it.  Processed truth has come to mean whatever each person believes.  Talk about convenient and transportable! 

So if truth really is subjective, then I have decided that “truth for me” is that eating fatty, processed, and hydrogenated foods is GOOD for me!  Doesn’t that make it true?  So no more guilt.  In fact, I think I’ll go have some more milk… and a whole bag of Oreos to go with it.

 “Purify them with your Truth.  Your Word is Truth.”  Jesus, John 17:17

Young children mix up their pronouns.  Have you noticed? 

The other day, my 3 year old Ella was talking about her Daddy and said his name, “Ray.”  Then she decided to try and spell it.

E:  R-A-I-J

This triggered another thought…

E: Mom, there’s a boy in my class named PJ.

Me:  PJ or AJ? (knowing that the boy’s name really is AJ.)

E: AJ

Me:  Is AJ a boy or a girl?

E: She’s a boy.

Me:  He’s a boy?

E:  Yeah, hers not a girl like me….

Older people have similar Pronoun Ambiguity.  Both of my girls were born bald and stayed that way for a couple of years.  I did my best to dress them in girly colors and put tiny hair clips in their hair fuzz to help others know they were, in fact, GIRLS.  Yet older people still often came to me, saying things like

“Oh HE’S so cute…” or

“What a cute little boy!” or

“How old is he?”

I’d smile graciously.  “HER name is Maggie.  SHE’S 4 months old.”

To which they’d reply something like, “Oh… HE looks just darling in that pink dress.”

So apparently this Pronoun Confusion has something to do with being very young.  Or with being very old.  When you’re somewhere in the middle, like me, you have other struggles — like mixing up your own children’s names, for instance…

So last night as I was brushing my teeth before bed, I was telling Ray a story about something that had happened at the Dentist Office a couple of days earlier.  I started to tell him how the hygienist and the dentist “corrob… er uhm… collaborated” their story. 

He said, you mean “they corroborated“?

To which I denied… “Corrobor…. what?  There’s no such word.  It’s collaborate.”

“No, no, no…”  He was certain. 

“So what’s the difference then?”  I probed, sucpicious that he was making up a word.

He explained that people collaborate when they rob banks, and that witnesses corroborate when they verify an alibi.

I was still suspicious — just like when I KNEW that it was Winona Ryder in Pirates of the Caribbean, and he thought it was Keira Knightley.  Silly Boy… I said, and I think we actually bet on this one.  Of course HE was right.

But this time our dispute involved WORDS, that’s something I know.  He’s more of a math/ programming guy.  Yes, he beats me at everything, but certainly not at words.

So I ran downstairs in my pajamas to get the laptop and bring it back up to bed.  We googled his silly, made-up word “corroborate.”  Hhmm… he wasn’t even sure how to spell it.  I was sooo going to win this one!

And then to my surprise, there it was.

Corroborate.

to make more certain; confirm

and then we googled

Collaborate.

to work, one with another; cooperate

Argh… how come he ALWAYS gets to win?!  Even about WORDS this time! 

(In all truth, I secretly enjoy that he’s smarter than me.  Shh… don’t tell him!)