In Real Life

“What’s milk made of?”  Ella asked me recently.

“Hhmm… Well, I’m pretty sure that milk is made of… milk.”

After saying that, I started thinking about how unusual it is to see single ingredient foods these days.  I guess that’s why the words organic, natural, and whole are appearing more and more frequently on our produce and labels.   In attempt to be healthy, we seek to avoid processed food, even though they are more convenient, more transportable, and have a longer shelf life. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no purist when it comes to eating.  At least not yet.  It was only recently that I learned what “trans fats” and “hydrogenated oils” are, and why I should avoid them.  Truth is, I still occasionally indulge in movie theatre popcorn.  And let’s just face it…  that “butter” is probably 110% trans hydrogenated saturated fat! 

But this concept fascinates me, because I realize that it parallels the frustration I feel toward processed versions of other things in life, like truth.  In fact, as I searched online for a good definition of this virtue, I realized that there is “no agreed upon definition” of it.  Processed truth has come to mean whatever each person believes.  Talk about convenient and transportable! 

So if truth really is subjective, then I have decided that “truth for me” is that eating fatty, processed, and hydrogenated foods is GOOD for me!  Doesn’t that make it true?  So no more guilt.  In fact, I think I’ll go have some more milk… and a whole bag of Oreos to go with it.

 “Purify them with your Truth.  Your Word is Truth.”  Jesus, John 17:17

A couple of nights ago while my 6 year old Maggie and I were cuddling and talking before her bedtime, she said, “Mom I’m afraid of that red light up there.”  She pointed to the smoke detector on her ceiling.

Me:  “Really, why?”

M:  “I’m afraid the battery’s going to die, and it will start beeping really loud.”

I understood exactly what she meant.  It IS loud, and I’m pretty sure they actually wait until we’re all in Stage 4 sleep to start beeping their complaints about battery life.

So I responded, “It’s okay, Hon… I changed your battery not long ago.”

M  (having obviously processed this fully):  Well, actually there are THREE things I’m afraid of.

Me:  Really?  Three?

M:  Yeah.  One. That the battery will die.  Two.  That there will be a fire.  And three, that there will be a fire, and I’ll have to run outside in my underwear.

Is this my kid or is this my kid?  Bizarrely contemplative and already making lists.  I love it!

Bless my heart… I’m finally learning what the little orange RSS button means and how to use it to get subscriptions to other people’s blogs sent to me by email.  Soo as I’m getting that set up, I’m wondering — do YOU have a blog?  If so, send me your link!

ps.  If you’re reading this in Facebook, mine is http://kristi.jez.net.

About Pregnancy:

• Take pictures during pregnancy.  You may not want to — especially toward the end when you no longer fit in vertical shots, but you’ll enjoy laughing at them years later!
• Have backup names.  You never know if your baby just won’t look like his/her chosen name.  Like my husband for instance.  When he was born, his Mom decided that the name “Susan” she had chosen for her baby just didn’t fit. 
• About Pee.  Sometimes, especially in the last month of pregnancy, Moms experience a phenomenon called Involuntary Voiding of Urine.  This is also known as “peeing when you’re not really peeing.”  It happens.  But sometimes PWYNRP can be a sign of your water breaking.  In this case, get to the hospital!
• Enjoy sleeping on your stomach while you can.
• Enjoy sleeping while you can.
• Don’t eat too much.  Yes you are now “eating for two,” but don’t get confused and eat for 3 or even 4, because if you do, you will later need to eat for 1/2 to lose the extra weight!
• Invest now in a comforable Baby Carrier — like a Bjorn.  Carriers are a great way to keep your hands free while holding your new baby and still doing other important things at the same time — like showering, jogging, and driving. 
• Don’t register for the Wipes Warmer.  In reality you will be holding a clean diaper in your teeth while changing your baby on the back seat floor of your mini van and digging through your diaper bag for whatever wipe you can find — regardless of its temperature.
• Diaper Champs are great.  Diaper Champs use real bags not special refill bags and it’s easy to stuff and flip dirty diapers in.  But watch out.  Once babies are standing up it’s also easy for them to stuff and flip your car keys.  We’re pretty sure this is the way we lost our Fisher Price Loving Family Mommy, leaving our Loving Family as a now “blended family.”
• Don’t be embarrassed about False Alarm trips to the Hospital during the last month.  I heard, “No, it wasn’t your water… just pee again” a couple of times before finally making it to the Hospital for the real thing!
• Give Up Dignity.  Yeah, go ahead.  You might as well do it now.  Your stomach will be touched and patted by strangers.  And your previously-private body parts will be prodded, examined, and measured many, many times.  It’s all part of the initiation into motherhood.  Plus… it’s also preparation for Game Day when you will have an audience of 5 or 6 down there watching the Big Moment! 
• Enjoy every moment!  You are a Mommy.  Congratulations!

Young children mix up their pronouns.  Have you noticed? 

The other day, my 3 year old Ella was talking about her Daddy and said his name, “Ray.”  Then she decided to try and spell it.

E:  R-A-I-J

This triggered another thought…

E: Mom, there’s a boy in my class named PJ.

Me:  PJ or AJ? (knowing that the boy’s name really is AJ.)

E: AJ

Me:  Is AJ a boy or a girl?

E: She’s a boy.

Me:  He’s a boy?

E:  Yeah, hers not a girl like me….

Older people have similar Pronoun Ambiguity.  Both of my girls were born bald and stayed that way for a couple of years.  I did my best to dress them in girly colors and put tiny hair clips in their hair fuzz to help others know they were, in fact, GIRLS.  Yet older people still often came to me, saying things like

“Oh HE’S so cute…” or

“What a cute little boy!” or

“How old is he?”

I’d smile graciously.  “HER name is Maggie.  SHE’S 4 months old.”

To which they’d reply something like, “Oh… HE looks just darling in that pink dress.”

So apparently this Pronoun Confusion has something to do with being very young.  Or with being very old.  When you’re somewhere in the middle, like me, you have other struggles — like mixing up your own children’s names, for instance…